The Emotional Challenges of Using an Egg Donor

Published on Saturday November 20th, 2021 by WCED

Every woman’s journey to working with an egg donor is different. Some have always known that donated eggs would be an optimal way for them to start a family—perhaps due to a long diagnosed condition. For others, the discovery is new, surprising, and emotionally challenging. Either way, the decision to use an egg donor comes with plenty powerful feelings—and that’s perfectly natural.

Many of these emotions come from concerns about how the loss of a biological connection to your baby will impact your experience of motherhood. What will my baby look like? How will their personality develop? What traits will they grow into? Will I be able to make a strong mother-to-child connection?

At West Coast Egg Donation, we’ve worked with intended parents from a range of different backgrounds and these questions are common. We also understand that for those who may have once hoped for another route, egg donation might not be your first choice. However, egg donation is a modern gift, allowing for those facing infertility to often carry and deliver their own baby. Read on as we address some of the concerns you may have—and alleviate whatever stress you may feel about using an egg donor.

Bonding during pregnancy

If you’re wondering whether you’ll be able to bond with a baby with whom you don’t share a biological connection, you’re not alone. This is one of the top concerns our team hears from the third-party reproduction community, but you need not worry. Research shows little or no evidence that the bond created during a natural pregnancy is any different than one using donated eggs.

What’s more, we have never once, in years of working with growing families, ever heard anything other than overwhelming love and joy from the mothers and fathers we’ve worked with. Donor eggs provide you with the biological means to have a baby, and you are 100% your baby’s mother. You’ll be pregnant with your baby, bond with it throughout your pregnancy, and give birth exactly as you would with a natural conception.

Connecting with your newborn

Obviously the opportunities for bonding continue after your baby is born. Once he or she is out in the world, you’ll have countless ways to connect. Talking, teasing, singing, playing—in the early days after your child is born, all of these activities can not only nourish the bond between you, but simply feel amazing and lift your spirits. And if you’re like so many of the parents we work with, the notion of a biological link will feel inconsequential when your child grows and first learns to crawl, speak, and many other milestones.

Again, if you have concerns about your ability to bond with an egg donor baby, those feelings are legitimate and we would never dismiss those emotions—they’re perfectly natural. Family building in the modern age may bring more options, but that doesn’t always mean the path is easy. That said, we’re here to offer some reassurance to anyone struggling with moving toward egg donation. Know there will be just as much love, joy, and a thrill when you meet your baby for the first time no matter what.

Curious to learn more?

We’re here to help. Learn more about the Egg Donor Program at West Coast Egg Donation.