How to Talk to Family and Friends About Using an Egg Donor

Published on Friday July 23rd, 2021 by WCED

Making the decision to use an egg donor is an amazing step toward starting a family. Although it is an increasingly common form of conception, there can be some understandable uncertainty around explaining your choice to your friends and family. What should you say? How will they react? What if they don’t get it?

Starting a family through egg donation is a deeply personal decision, but like most decisions, it isn’t made in a vacuum. Your loved ones can be a wonderful source of support and joy as you begin this journey, but they may need time and explanations to fully understand what you’re going through.

Plan Ahead

Of course, it is impossible to predict how a conversation will go, but you should still know what you are ready to share as well as what you want to avoid talking about. As you go through process, you will be able to decide which points you feel ready to bring to the table so you can stay in your comfort zone. Timing is everything – for various reasons, some of your loved ones may not be ready for all the details of your donation journey at once. Planning out how and when to discuss certain subjects will help reduce the stress these conversations may cause.

Prepare for Questions

There will inevitably be inquiries from your circle about the details of egg donation. They may mean well, but your friends and family may ask some insensitive questions. Anticipating what they might ask and preparing for any and all reactions will make the discomfort more bearable. Preparing basic answers that set gentle but firm boundaries may also help. Ways you can counter their questions include:

  • “I really wanted to start a family, and after a lot of thought, this is the path I’ve chosen.”
  • “My partner and I made the decision to use an egg donor, and although it hasn’t been easy, it has been very rewarding, and we’re so happy to be parents.”
  • “I appreciate you asking, but I’m not ready to talk about that just yet.”

Take Time for Yourself

Ultimately, this is your decision, and you and your partner can choose what to share and who to share it with. If conversations become overwhelming, that is normal. Be patient with others, but most important, be patient with yourself; you may need to step back and give yourself some time to let emotions settle so you can maintain a calm, positive environment for your new family.

Having a baby is a magical event, and including your friends and family helps provide much-needed support. Although it may introduce unexpected challenges, sharing your experience is an important part of dealing with the complexities that arise. These conversations will determine who you can turn to when it feels like too much. A friend who understands that you’re going through a lifechanging and experience and may need to unload your emotions will do wonders for your mental well-being.

To learn more about using an egg donor, you can review our FAQ for intended parents or contact West Coast Egg Donation directly with your questions.