Bonding With Your Baby While Using a Donor Egg

Published on Friday January 29th, 2021 by WCED

Many intended parents who use a donor egg to have a child worry that, because they don’t share a genetic relationship with their baby, they will be unable to bond with the child once they are born. However, in spite of early misgivings, many intended parents report feeling unequivocal joy as they get to know their new baby. Oftentimes, because they’ve already put a significant amount of effort into trying to have a child, they’re overcome with a deep sense of love and fulfillment.

That being said, the road to childbirth can be emotionally challenging, especially when using a donor egg. If you find yourself struggling with the worry that you won’t be able to bond with your baby, you should know that this is a completely normal response. Here are some of our tips to help you take care of your emotional health while bonding with your egg donor baby.

You’re Not Alone

The fear of not being able to bond with your egg donor baby can be terribly isolating. Some intended parents worry that there’s something wrong with them for feeling this way. However, this is a very common experience. It’s easy to see why – for most of human history, families were generally defined by genetic connections. Even though modern reproductive science and technology have made it possible to create families outside traditional means, we’re still somewhat conditioned to place a greater emphasis on DNA over love.

It’s also important to keep in mind that this experience isn’t unique to those using an egg donor to have a child. Many new parents who have a genetic link to their child also struggle to bond with their babies early on. It’s important that you go easy on yourself for how you’re feeling and remember that you’re not alone. By being kind to yourself it’ll be easier for you to surrender to the process and let the bond between you and your child develop naturally.

Bonding With Your Baby

One way to alleviate concerns about bonding with your egg donor baby is to proactively build a relationship with them from the start. For example, when in utero, try talking or singing to the baby. At around 25 to 26 weeks, your baby can already recognize your voice. Talking to the baby while in utero helps them get to know you before meeting you, which will help in the bonding process later.

After the baby is born, take time to really observe them as they develop and discover the world around them. The more you watch and celebrate these little milestones, the more engaged and excited you’ll be. As time goes on, take every opportunity to touch, play, and talk with your baby, which will make the whole bonding process a lot of fun for both of you.

Above all else, remember that it’s love, not DNA, that makes a family. To learn more about pursuing parenthood via egg donation, contact West Coast Egg Donation today.